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| Can it get any better? My guess is no... | | |
| ...wish I didn't care. Is that asking so much? | | |
| What Matters Most
What matters in this world?
Everything and nothing.
Life exists somewhere in between.
Looking for it is how the game is played. Finding it is how it's won.
But nobody wins, and as more people play, it becomes increasingly clear that
When it comes to what is truly important, all words are equally inadequate.
And that is perhaps the greatest gift.
For without words, there is no thought.
And without thought, I can talk and laugh and play but I can't feel.
Without words, there are no numbers.
And without numbers, order is meaningless, and what matters most is a myth...
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| Edit (07-11-05): finally selected a title
An Honest Confession
I am sincere.
I'm not a player or a flirter.
People say I'm sweet.
I'll never try to fool you. Anything I tell you, I mean.
I won't make a promise I don't intend to keep.
I'm not afraid of commitment.
I am sincere.
I mean it when I say, "I love you."
I only wanted to be with you.
I am sincere.
I'm not experienced or wise.
People say I'm naive.
I fool myself. Anything I tell you, I believe.
I make promises not knowing that I can't keep them.
I don't understand what commitment is.
I am sincere.
I mean it when I say, "I'm sorry."
I never wanted to hurt you.
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| It's official...
I'm going to UCLA. After struggling with it for over a month, I finally realized that I simply couldn't have it any other way. If I had decided to go to Chicago, I would have regretted it instantly and intensely. Given the alternative, there ultimately was no choice, really.
Knowing this doesn't quiet the "might've-beens" in my mind, however. I'll always wonder and I'll never know. I think that's life.
But now that the decision has been made, I feel as though a heavy burden has been lifted from me. And I can't wait to start school in the fall as a Bruin!
Thanks to those of you that gave me advice and support during this time. | | |
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